Dreaming of Depth

I don't know what this blog is. Philosophical musings? A journal? Letters to an old lover? I might just phase through all three. It'll depend on what I'm needing at the time. Today, I need someone I can share my discoveries with. So, today, that's what it'll be. I've been working on picking apart my focus on chasing romantic relationships. I've been chasing them my whole life, and I'm wanting to experience something else now. AND I feel like I've been having success. I've been investing in relationships that aren't romantic. I'm seeing how my life intersects with others in non-romantic ways. I'm also seeing how I can have some romance without trying to create a relationship from it. And today the unhinging of the two parts felt freeing. It felt uncomplicated and even rather than desperate. Of course, progress is cyclical. For every movement forward we make, there will be some retreat. Advance and relax. Even as I was feeling the joy ...

I've been trying to escape codependency. It's a hard task when it's all you've ever known. It IS normal. It's the only "healthy" you know. But when you start to see how it hurts you and your relationships, you have to get away from it. You have to find a new normal and a new healthy. So I've been looking for a new definition of how humans should interact. For a while it seemed like every interaction was some kind of codependency. But we all know that humans are social creatures. Is this claim just a justification from a codependent perspective? Or is there really something healthy about it? Why are humans social creatures? Are we just wanting company? Validation? Protection? Sustenance? Are these things we should be providing ourselves, but we are dependent on others for them? An old friend of mine once proposed that it's good to have other people around to give other perspectives. That makes sense. We can't have all perspectives. Other people ...