This is why we are social beings

I've been trying to escape codependency. It's a hard task when it's all you've ever known. It IS normal. It's the only "healthy" you know. But when you start to see how it hurts you and your relationships, you have to get away from it. You have to find a new normal and a new healthy.

So I've been looking for a new definition of how humans should interact. For a while it seemed like every interaction was some kind of codependency. But we all know that humans are social creatures. Is this claim just a justification from a codependent perspective? Or is there really something healthy about it?

Why are humans social creatures? Are we just wanting company? Validation? Protection? Sustenance? Are these things we should be providing ourselves, but we are dependent on others for them?

An old friend of mine once proposed that it's good to have other people around to give other perspectives. That makes sense. We can't have all perspectives. Other people would be necessary for that. But is that all? That seems fairly limited.

My epiphany today was stumbling onto something bigger. I was thinking about how we sometimes adopt something that someone else cares about as our own. And we start claiming to care about it. Is this just more unhealthy human interaction? Are we only liking that thing to have a common interest that keeps that person close? That sounds like an indication of a weak character. We shouldn't just like something because someone else likes it.

But I don't think that's what's happening. At least, it's not the whole story. I think this mimicking is actually how we learn. We try out what someone else loves. We see if it works for us the way it works for them. They have discovered something we have not. Should we value it they way they do? You'll have to try it to find out. You'll have to try loving it to find out.

So someone else has discovered a band, a routine, a show, a hobby, a product, an author. It is exciting for them. You want to learn what they have learned. BECAUSE WE CAN'T LEARN EVERYTHING ON OUR OWN. It is so much more efficient to adopt and try out what another person has already synthesized. They've done the work. We get to pass judgment. So we try to love what someone we love loves. But will it last? Or will we drop it when it no longer servers to bond us?

Gaining a new perspective is part of this. But it's learning from a person's synthesized life experience instead of learning from their tastes. I'm excited to renew my learning from my fellow humans. I'm eager to delineate between codependency and a more healthy interdependency.