Set in stone

 


I have a fear of sharing this blog.

I really appreciate what it provides me - a place where I can get my thoughts out. It's nice to discover something about myself and then put it on a page. I think it has an effect of sinking my ideas a little more into my soul. It also helps me feel like the discovery is protected; it won't evaporate and be forgotten. It is also nice to put it out for someone else to see. Maybe I'll be seen and understood. Maybe someone will benefit from it and I will have contributed to society. That's part of the reason we're social creatures. You can learn something that I have learned without having to go through every step in the process for yourself.

The thing that makes me fear sharing the blog is the static aspect of it. I guess that's true of all art. Whether it's a painting, a musical, a building or a blog post, you create it from your heart and people think that's you. But it's really only a snippet of you. It's one hour or one day. Maybe it's one year. But it's not who you will be tomorrow or next year. And putting something on paper locks how people see you. They see the old you and the real you isn't actually being seen.

I'm not the same person that blogged yesterday. But someone that reads that post will think I am. The energy healing session I talked about could have been the subject of a blog post months ago. I could have talked about my discovery and anyone that read it would think that I'm trying to build a skyscraper of myself. But I changed since then. A person that thought that would be interacting with an old version of me, but think it's current.

I don't want to present my blog to people when they'll think it's who I am instead of who I was. I don't know if everyone is a new person everyday, but I am. And I love that about myself. Maybe it's inconsistent. Maybe it's chaotic. But I'm so glad I'm no longer who I was yesterday. I look forward to the me of tomorrow. But this blog; it's always outdated. If you want to know what I am, you'll have to engage me directly. Catch your own snippet. Take it with a grain of salt. Tomorrow it will be expired.

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